Boobs are Useful Reason #5: Getting out of 2 Tickets in 15 hours

A flashback from last December:

Reason #5 Boobs are Useful

I am sorry if you do not have large, soft boobies. If you did, you could use them for lots of different things. In my case, I managed to get out of 2 (VERY expensive and very irresponsible) tickets, which became WARNINGS that probably could have cost me hundreds of $$ and a suspended license. I wouldn’t really know because I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket nor have had to pay for one or surrender my license. Hence, the usefulness of breasteses.

Warning 1. 12/16 at 10:55pm

Guilty of: Going 75mph on a 45mph.

In my defense: I was putting lipgloss on and was not aware that I was going that fast.

Boobs.

Citation: Warning for going 55 on a 45.

14 hours and 57 minutes later….

Warning 2. 12/17 at 1:51pm

Guilty of: Not seeing a pedestrian on the crosswalk

In my defense:  I was accidently distracted by the roadworkers in orange vests, hoodies, and hardhats… um…

Boobs

Citation: Warning for “Pedestrian, failure to yield for in x-walk.”

Tags: , ,

Categories: Legal

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